They’re so frickin’ DULL! These guys must not have a clue… Just saying “I read your ad, write me” will work about as good as honking your horn at a girl walking down the street. Do they really think that anyone will respond to this? They probably don’t realize that ads from women sometimes get hundreds of responses, and that it’s impossible to reply to every single one. Heck, I didn’t even reply to every one I think is good! So, why would I reply to the one liners? Why?

Yawn: Man of Few Words

Jen got a boring one-line “you’re neat, write me” response to her ad. The guy even put her ad description (height/city/interests) in the subject line, so it’s obvious he wrote to everyone, thinking they’d just hit reply and he’d be able to tell who was who. But Jen was wise to his little plan… Jen […]

Yawn: We Should Meet

They just don’t get it… In my ad, I had said, “Don’t just tell me we should meet, give me a REASON we should meet.” I think my ad was pretty clear in that I wanted someone to be interesting and have something in common with me, and not just feed me lines. Apparently, I […]

Yawn: If for Good or Worse

I’m still trying to figure this one out… Date:Sat, 23 Oct 1999 12:28:35 -0700 Subject: just trying In response to: In Three Easy Steps are still available to have fun and good time, they said if for good and worse so I take that, let me know your status, Rob Lorina: Jeez… some of these people must […]

Yawn: My Attention

It’s not only important to CATCH a woman’s attention, but you have to KEEP it, as well. This guy doesn’t. Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 19:10:26 -0700 Subject: ur a nut! In response to: In Three Easy StepsThat ought to get your attention. You really are a nut though. My name is John and I dont […]

Yawn: Mistaken Identity

So, the question remains… Do I have a long lost twin – the good twin, of course –  roaming the streets of Philadelphia, or is this an elaborate ploy to meet women? We may never know. Date: Sat, 2 Oct 1999 14:59:23 -0700 Subject: hello In response to: In Three Easy Stepsis your name Sheri by […]

Yawn: What You Want

Here’s a clue — if you don’t know how to answer the ad — DON’T ANSWER IT! Not all ads are for everyone, and if you’re completely flabbergasted by one, you shouldn’t respond to it! Date: Wed, 29 Sep 1999 5:06:54 -0700 Subject: i love that look on your face In response to: In Three Easy […]

Yawn: Okay

He wants to get to know me and has a picture, so naturally I’m going to want to date him! *Ahem.* Sorry… my criteria is a little more strict than that. Date: Sat, 24 Jul 1999 9:05:02 -0700 Subject: Hi In response to: Call Me Miss Kensingtonwould like very much to get to know you. Have […]

Yawn: Pic Happy

These two guys don’t seem a little hung up on the picture thing, do they? “I’ll describe myself because I don’t have a picture. No, I can’t describe myself, so I’ll send a picture. No, I can’t send a picture.” SHEESH! And why did they write to me? My picture. Date: Fri, 8 Oct 1999 […]

Yawn: Reading & Writing

In one ad, I mentioned something to the effect of “if you’re going to respond, please take the time to read what I wrote” and that I suspect some just write to anyone who has a picture and isn’t butt ugly. Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 20:27:32 -0700 Subject: your ad In response to: A Nice […]

Yawn: Getting Grilled

Goes to show… a few misplaced letters can make a big difference! Besides, the last thing I wanted was a guy who was only interested in my picture. Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 20:27:32 -0700 Subject: your ad In response to: A Nice Little Evil PersonHello, I am very imprssed with your picture! You are a […]

Yawn: Bum in a Dinghy

Could this guy sound any more enthusiastic or appealing??? Right up there with the pickup line, “You don’t want to dance with me, do you?” Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 Subject: Hello In response to: In Three Easy StepsHi my name is Steve. I am 28 years old and 6’1″ tall 200 pounds with brown hair. […]

Yawn: Billboard Hit: 1977

When I said I wanted people to give me a REASON to respond, I meant that their response should tell me something about themselves and make me WANT to know them. This dork fell kinda short… Date: Mon, 13 Sept 1999 14:26:43 -0700 Subject: Hello In response to: Wit and Sarcasm Out The WazooReason to respond: […]

Yawn: What Is Next?

This one is the perfect example of a YAWN response to a personal ad. Date: Wed, 13 Oct 1999 14:26:43 -0700 Subject: Hello In response to: In Three Easy StepsSounds like fun so far…what is next? -Stephen Lorina: For you…. NOTHING…. NEXT! Cindy: That’s IT?? All he wrote?? My, what brief encounter…guess this is an e-mail quickie…not very […]

Yawn: Nappy Time

Sure, my personal ad was a bit longer than most, but still… Would this wanker have preferred, “Hi I’m a SWF iso SWM. Write me?” Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1999 13:52:46 -0700 Subject: About that Ad In response to: In Three Easy StepsThree easy steps!!!! I’m exhausted after reading that ad. I better go take a […]

Yawn: How about… NOT!

Oh… great way to get a response. Let the ONLY thing you tell the other person be something they said they DIDN’T want! Date: Sun, 10 Oct 1999 9:28:09 -0700 Subject: Response. In response to: In Just Three Easy Steps How about someone 10 years older? You might find me interesting. I won’t give any specifics, […]